Thursday, 4 August 2011

Orgasms and the Common Housefly

When I was brushing my teeth last night, I saw a small fly sticking to the wall. I thought, all right, I might write my first blog starting with that little thing.

But it has to be something about sex, doesn’t it? Immediately I realized one difference between this small fly and me. If it’s gonna write something about its sex, what would it write? ‘Did it. Expecting some babies in 3 hours.’ ‘Done. Piece of cake. Oh cake! Yum.’

Are human beings the only animal that would enjoy sex (if we ever do)? I have had some cats, but they don’t seem to be bothered about it. You can look at their faces and tell whether they are tired or enthusiastic about a can of tuna, but you can never tell if they are horny and need a wank. Only people care about orgasm, sexual experience, techniques, and the foreplay or afterplay. Male human beings *might* be the only animal who would compare the length of their penises and thought the bigger the better, as if it is so powerful that they can use it to conquer the world.

These seem to be exclusively for human being: why do people enjoy sex? Why is it different from other enjoyments or sensations? Why is it so pervasive in the media, but is still a taboo? Why would the question ‘is modern society too sexual for children’ be asked? What is it that we expect from sex, and why does it matter to us? 

Before I can claim that I have finished this article properly, I would like to share a story about ‘orgasm.’ Please note that this following story is in a heterosexual context.

I used to have a friend who asked me, ‘did you come?’ every time after he ejaculated. I would nod and smile, as if I was saying yes. 

I didn’t. I never have any orgasm from solely penetration, but I felt like I should fake it. There are two reasons for it. First, I didn’t want to upset him. I thought it might be a British manner or chivalry that men have to please women first. Second, sometimes the penetration became so dull that I wished it could just finish. So, yes, I faked it by screaming, grabbing the bed sheet, some muscle contraction, and a nod. I did like the foreplay, the tickling and caressing, but vaginal penetration just doesn’t work for me.

Gradually I realized that there seems to be something more about this confirmation of female orgasm. Imagine what reaction I would receive if I had said no? I suppose he wouldn’t be interested in sex with me anymore despite that I give good blow-jobs. (I’ve got many positive reflections saying it’s good. I hope those men had not faked it.) For *some* men, the achievement in giving women orgasms gives themselves confidence and pride. Their make-believe sexual ability is one of the pillars which construct their masculinity. I cannot imagine how damaged they will be if they find out their partners have actually faked it. But really, why is it so important anyway? Why do people think orgasm = good sex?

Going back to the difference between us and the little fly...I’m glad human being invented condoms and contraceptive pills anyway. Wait, flies have STDs?

Helen Melody

Helen Melody is a 26 year old female from Taiwan, and when she isn't blogging, you can catch her on Facebook and Twitter!

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