Friday 5 August 2011

Secrets

Where to begin? Well I may as well introduce myself so you know who you're reading about. I am Mist T-Fie, a 23 year old woman born and bred in Southern England. I was born into a Muslim family and I am very much what you would call a Sunni Muslim although maybe not as strict or as practising as most.

I have had to date 9 sexual partners and as far as I'm aware my parents only know of 1. I am not married however I am in a relationship with a Muslim man that my parents are unaware of. 


I lost my virginity at the age of 17, I don't think I was ready for sex but it was the classic case of "if you loved me you would" blah blah blah and I gave in. A few months down the line, he turned out to be a bastard so I wanted out and the best thing he could do? Tell my parents he had de-flowered their virgin Muslim daughter. Let me tell you, shit went down! A horrible time in my life but did that stop me from being sexually active? Did it fuck! (no pun intended of course) I had now had a taste of the (not so good) stuff and I wanted more. There was so much more I wanted to try and experience but who with and when?!

Its only now when I think back to that time and I realise how inexperienced and meek I was. I let him take charge always and never asked or demanded what I wanted. I never came, the big O never happened for me but at the time I thought it did, it didn't happen until my 5th partner to be precise but by then I had learnt the art of masturbation but that's another blog entirely.

Why do I have to anonymously submit my sexual experiences? As a Muslim girl in a Western country, I can't even tell my best friend the truth (yes she's a Muslim too) for fear of being ousted and dare I say, unloved? My current partner whom I can actually say I love and wish to marry, doesn't even know the truth about my past, he thinks I've only ever had the 1 sexual partner before him, never mind 7 more! And although I've never lied or hidden anything from him, this is something that I HAVE to keep to myself. I know most people wouldn't understand but if you're a Muslim girl reading this, I can just see you nodding along and saying "yep, I completely get where you're coming from" and if you're a Muslim guy reading this, yes I know, you all think I'm just good for one thing, not wifey material and a slut. Funny how times change but we don't eh?

Any other "western" person might be thinking, "there's nothing wrong with her, I'd appreciate her experience" but I don't want to marry a "western" person, I want to marry a Muslim, even if I can't tell him the truth. So why doesn't it stop me sinning...?


Mist T-Fie
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Mist T-Fie is a 23 year old Muslim woman from England, and when she isn't blogging, you can find her on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002624457950
 

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