If you are interested in sex whether it be stories, fiction, jokes, debates or just in a general way, then this is the blog for you.
Everyday we will have contributors from various different ages and walks of life, sharing their musings on sex and the people who do them.
On Fridays, we will have an open competition for anyone to send in their blogs, and the best one will be chosen by myself and my partner and will then be featured.
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
So I didn't make it to the deadline.
But this week has been weird.
First, me and my virgin friends got together.
Ok, you found that really uninteresting.
Second, I got caught in a certain situation with, umm I'm really not a fan of psychology, but this guy could be more or less be categorized as some sort of an exhibitionist.
Third, a random virgin (or so he claims) guy sent me a message.
The Virgin Weekend
Me and my friends (since we were like 13-14 years old) got together and we were talking about my friend's boyfriend who's supposedly going to meet her probably late this year or early next year. So a number of questions were raised. Are you ready to get laid? Are you going to use a condom? Is he clean? Do you want to get pregnant already? Etc, etc.
What I found really amusing about the conversation though was the fact that we used ANGRY BIRDS to categorize dicks. Me and my other friend were saying, 'What kind of angry bird does he have? Is it the the type that shoots into THREE? PEW! PEW! PEW! Or is it the type that when you touch it, it gets faster? Or the one that turns RED first then EXPLODES? BAGOOOOSHHH!!!'
Then we went on to talk about he fact that they've been together for almost three years. Without sex. The boyfriend might be staying for more or less a month. And we were saying that, in those years, you really can't expect someone to just want to have sex with you once a week. Another thing is that if they plan on getting my friend pregnant, to make sure, they might wanna do it everyday. (is that healthy? :D) So a friend was saying 'It should be at least 20 out of 30'. 20 days out of 30 days. I told my friend, 'You are seriously going to lose weight by the time he leaves. That is, if you don't get pregnant after.'
If she doesn't want to get pregnant and doesn't want to waste it as well, she could always swallow it.
Clothed Female, Naked Male
This certain guy (only viewed his profile ONCE on a dating site before he messaged me) had started messaging me probably one or two months ago.
And his first message as about circumcised and uncircumcised penises and if I give a damn about it. I said that it really isn't that much of an issue with me but I expect men with uncircumcised penises to have way better hygiene than those who are circumcised. To shorten up things, he just wanted to just show off his uncircumcised dick to me.
I'm actually not the type of person to entertain this kind of messages. There was even a point where I said 'isn't it too early to talk about penises? It's fucking 6:45am here!'.
But I guess it's time to push some limits.
And see some naked bodies. Hehehehehe....
So I decided to just go with the flow.
Apparently, this guy is pretty HOT (only realized this when he already sent me his NAKED photo). He's good looking, have a nice body (although he claims he's skinny), have a nice career and owns a really cute siamese cat (the cat is the aweseomest thing). Which makes me wonder to no end why the hell does he want me to watch him strip and (probably) jack off?
Chances are, he is the type of person who would get an ego-boost from showing off his naked body to other people. Probably be aroused by this as well. I really don't see this case as a disturbing one, since I don't think this hinders his day to day activities. When i asked him why he likes to show off hos body to me, he told me we'd both enjoy it. I told him 'oh you do?' and he said 'If you like what you see, then it's flattering.' What a weird ego to rub.
So this guy would usually send me a message from midnight to early morning. Most of the time I don't get to reply since I am sleeping at that time of the day but there are times where I get to catch him online. During those times I TRY to talk to him.
Our initial conversations were just funny (to me at least)
Me: Oh ok. So why did you give me your ym id?
Him: so you can see what uncircumcised looks like
Me: Wow i didn't know you were into show business! XD
Him: Now you know!
Me: No seriously, you just show your dick to random people?
Him: not random, i get to know them. and it's not "dick" it's uncircumcised penis
-insert a big DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH here-
Me: So why do you do this? Are you an anti-circumcision advocate? XD
-insert a bigger DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH here-
Me: For real? So does that say you're not jewish?
After the The Virgin Weekend Date, (which happened recently) I went home and to my surprise, he was online. So the usual hi hello, how are you, what's up? (your dick?) Etc, etc. Then of course he tells me he's going to take a shower and asks me if I wanted a show first. I said I'd love to. But I'm on iPod. :D
So I asked him what kind of show should I expect (wow as if I really had no idea ha.ha.ha). He then tells me that he's only wearing his underwear and that it doesn't have to stay on. So I tell him to 'take it off then'. Then again, I'm on iPod so he resorts to sending me a photo. And I said 'ok'.
jan jararan jan jan jan jaran!!!!
And to my surprise, Oh yeah, he was hot. Although I wasn't sure why I was expecting a bigger penis though. I got confused if it was not, semi or fully erect. But my bet was it semi-erect. Another thing I noticed was, I found the photo very sexy. Probably because his underwear wasn't fully pulled down. So yea, it was a pretty hot photo. And yea, he wasn't circumcised. Thanks to porn-watching, I can distinguish one from the other.
Then later today while I was at work, I caught him online and asked him if he was really that guy from his profile and he said yes (because seriously, my mind sometimes can't process some stuff like why people like showing off their genitals to strangers just for the sake of getting aroused). I also told him a big fat lie: that my colleague snatched my iPod (this actually happens) and found his photo and showed it to everyone. Truth is, I asked everyone to tell me if his dick was erect or not. Anyways, everyone said the photo was sexy. So I asked him, 'was your penis erect or not?'. He said 'not fully, no. I was a little aroused since I was taking a photo for you'. What the hell?
'OK, I won! YEAH!!!'
Hehe, my bet was semi-erect. I should've taken the betting seriously. I need money. Hahahaha
I also asked him how long would it be if it's fully erect?
And to my disappointment, he said 6. :(
I told him I thought it would be 8 or 9. :P
So let's strike-out autofellatio in this conversation. He said he isn't that flexible plus his dick isn't that long. He might break his back if the tries to.
I also found my self laughing at my own replies because I really sounded like a virgin. XD
I really have no idea how long I can keep up with this ego-rubbing-to-the-highest-level shit, but we'll see.
After all, it's a FREE SHOW. :)
Virgin Versus Virgin
Today, I got a message from an 18-year old kid.
Kid: Hey I know this probably isn't why you joined this site but ill ask anyway. I am very inexperienced in sex (I'm a virgin) and I was hoping to ask someone who might have some experience for advice. If you want me to go away tho I totally understand.
Me: Oh it's totally alright. Unfortunately, even though I do write blogs about sex, I am also a virgin like you are. :)
I'm not very happy about that last thing though haha :D
Kid: thats too bad. its also too bad we arent closer so we cant have sex lol
don't get so worked up, i think things will just happen naturally.
I also prefer men with experience haha :P
Sorry kid, I've been through enough awkward moments and I don't plan on messing up a first fuck. :)